Access to the Secret Knowledge

Greetings.

It has come to my attention that a memo I wrote to the writers on THE UNIT has found its way onto the internet and “gone viral.”

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This, to me, is both the sincerest form of flattery, and a monstrous act of plagiarism, unequaled, in the annals of theft since the Louisiana Purchase. So, here’s what:

I am now offering, to you, an ACTUAL volume of the actual WRITERS TIPS FOR THE UNIT, just like everyone paid no attention to in the Writers’ Room. This handy booklet, a mere ten pages, can fit in your shirt pocket, jeans pocket, and can shim up a bad roll on a pool table.

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I would include in this package my essay which appeared on the internet, but you’ve probably already read it or downloaded it.

Here is your chance to:
A)  Get right with the god whose statuettes were offended by this act of theft.
B)  Own a Piece of History
C)  Invest in the future.

Send me money and I will send you the actual booklet (pictures here) signed by me, and stamped with my very own Rubber Stamp.

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In the near future, when inflation has rendered the dollar valueless, this artifact may very well become if not the, at least a medium of exchange. In the worst case, if we are reduced to Living In Caves, you can use it for Kindling.

What does it cost? $32.00. Thirty-Two dollars. For a piece of history.

And that’s not all: ALL proceeds go direct to the author (a Jew)’s synagogue; so your purchase MAY be tax-deductible, in whole or part.  Consult your accountant and your conscience.

And it’s so simple: all you have to do is mail your check, made out to OHT, a non-profit organization as defined by the Internal Revenue Code 501 (c) (3).

Mail checks to:
Screenwriter Dave’s Helpful Hints
P.O. Box 7578
Santa Monica, CA 90406

Please include a 6×9 (No. 0) padded, self-addressed stamped envelope (S.A.S.E.) with $1.05 in postage for anywhere in the continental U.S. or $2.08 for postage anywhere in Western Europe, to accommodate the weight of your purchase, and then watch the mail.

You won’t be disappointed.

Watch this space for more nifty gack, and, should you wish to be apprised of its advent more expeditiously, simply enclose a card with your email address on it.

Yours for a Better Tomorrow,